Home help for an elderly parent in Wallonia: where to start

Your mother has been living alone for a few years. Over the phone, everything seems fine. Then, one Sunday, you notice the nearly empty fridge, the pile of unopened mail, a lightbulb that’s been burnt out for weeks. Nothing serious, but a sign: she could use some help. Where do you start when you live far away, work, and don’t want to rush her or make all the decisions for her? Here’s a simple, step-by-step method. ## Start by talking with your parent This is the first step, and often the most delicate. Help that’s imposed is rarely well received. Help that’s chosen together is much more likely to last. A few tips for broaching the subject: - **start with concrete examples** rather than age: “Do Saturday’s groceries tire you out?” goes over better than “You can’t live alone anymore”; - **ask what really weighs on her**: heavy bags, long days without seeing anyone, cooking every night, paperwork; - **present help as a way to stay at home**, not as a loss of independence; - **suggest a trial period** of a few weeks, with no commitment, to see if it works. Your parent remains the primary person concerned. It’s their door that will be opened: they should have a say in who comes. ## Make a list of needs, week by week Before looking for someone, write down what would be useful. A typical week helps clarify things: - **groceries**: once a week, or two small trips; - **meals**: preparing a few dishes in advance, or cooking together; - **company**: a visit, a walk, a card game, a coffee; - **accompaniment**: going to the hairdresser, the pharmacy, the market, or an appointment; - **light housekeeping**: some tidying up, laundry, ironing; - **small tasks**: changing a lightbulb, help with the phone or tablet. Also note the times that suit your parent. Many older people prefer mornings and appreciate seeing the same person each time. ## What an individual can do, and what falls under care This is the most important point in this article. There’s a real difference between **everyday assistance** and **care**. ### Everyday assistance An individual or self-employed person offering home help can take care of everything that makes daily life easier: - doing the shopping or doing it together; - preparing a simple meal; - keeping company, chatting, going for a walk; - accompanying on foot or by car for errands or appointments; - helping with tidying, laundry, or small household tasks. ### Care Anything related to health and personal care requires trained professionals: - washing a dependent person, dressings, injections; - preparing and managing medication; - monitoring an illness, a wound, or significant loss of independence. For these needs, talk to your parent’s GP. They can refer you to a **home nurse**. For more structured support, Wallonia approves **family and elderly support services**, known by their official acronym “SAFA”: they employ family helpers, senior assistants, and home caregivers, and a social worker first assesses the person’s needs at home. A financial contribution is requested, calculated based on income. To find out what’s available near your parent, contact their health insurance fund, the CPAS (public social welfare centre) in their municipality, or AVIQ (Walloon Agency for a Quality Life), the Walloon administration responsible for these services. The two can work very well together: a nurse visits for care, and someone from the neighbourhood comes twice a week for shopping and company. ## Questions to ask before choosing You’ve found a profile that seems right? Take the time for an initial conversation, ideally with your parent. Here are the key questions: 1. **Have you ever helped an elderly person?** Experience with a grandparent, a neighbour, or in a professional setting is a real plus. 2. **What tasks do you offer, and which ones don’t you do?** Someone clear about their limits is reliable. 3. **When are you available?** A regular schedule reassures your parent. 4. **What do you do if there’s a problem?** A fall, feeling unwell, a door that won’t open: agree in advance who to contact, and in what order. 5. **How will you keep me updated?** A message after each visit, for example. It’s invaluable when you live far away. 6. **What’s your rate, and what does it include?** Per hour, per visit, travel included or not. Then arrange a first visit with all three of you. Observe how your parent reacts. The connection is either there or not, and it’s often clear from the first meeting. ## Prepare a small practical sheet To ensure everything goes smoothly, gather the following on one page: - your parent’s habits (wake-up time, preferences, dishes they dislike); - useful numbers: you, a neighbour, the GP; - usual shops and a typical shopping list; - what they prefer to do alone, to avoid taking everything away from them. And decide together about keys: who has a spare, and where it’s kept. ## Check in after a few weeks After three or four visits, get feedback from both sides. Is your parent happy? Does the helper need any clarifications? Adjust the schedule if needed. And if needs change, especially if care becomes necessary, talk to the GP again. ## How Pambe can help On Pambe, you can look for home help near your parent’s home **without creating an account to search**. Enter their town, and you’ll see people offering this service in their area: what they provide (shopping, company, meals, accompaniment), their zone, and their rates and availabilities if they’ve listed them on their profile. When someone suits you, you **contact them directly** to ask questions and arrange a first meeting. Pambe connects you: it’s neither an employer, nor an agency, nor a care service. You remain free to choose, with no commitment. [Find home help near your parent on Pambe](https://pambe.be/en/services?metier=home_care) *Source for approved services: wallonie.be, SAFA page (contact: AVIQ).*